2014.0201.20:48 hrs Saturday night
After a trip to the ocean today – it was bright and sunny, but cold and windy on the Pacific coast today – I’m starting my new regime; last night, I uninstalled all game apps but two on Windows 8 and two on Facebook, and after making the announcement on Facebook, I’ve got some people watching.
What do I want to be doing instead, you may ask. First, start some serious, regular blogging; if I spent one-fifth of the time I spent on games writing, I could get a lot accomplished.
Second, I’ve got to straighten and organize this place, I’ve got empty boxes and stacks of stuff to go in them, that simply need to be matched up.
Thirdly, I’ve got to get ready to move; I admit I can no longer sustain myself on my own at full rent. I’ve got to find a better situation, one within my $1,000/mo budget, as it currently stands; it may increase, but I can’t depend on anything more than that, so I have to get used to the idea.
That’s a start.
Letters to authors and UC Santa Cruz about the Philosophy of Consciousness course of study. “I’ve had an insight that I think may be a breakthrough”,
and I want to return to college to pursue the value of the insight about consciousness, the mind and the brain.
and I read your book, which played a major part in the development of my ideas, and I would appreciate an opportunity to meet briefly, introduce myself.
2014.0203.19:28 hrs. Monday night
Oh; now I get it, I want to write, I just don’t want to share it with anybody. Getting other people to the Aha! is beyond my meager abilities.
But I avoid it like the plague; on the 1st, I deleted a bunch of games (left 2 on Facebook and 2 on Windows 8), so there isn’t as much distraction – I haven’t been back to FB to play since .. oh, 2 days ago, because my presence on the game grid is being monitored, or has been threatened to be monitored.
The hand with the pen, or the fingers with the keyboard (which, admittedly, seems faster) are still incredibly slow for the speed of my thoughts when I’m trying to write. I always get hung up in the lag between mind and fingers, lose the train of thought and … well, the sentence without the thought peters out like the brain-dead off life support. So I take the writing off life support, and it dies aborning.
Things I’ve Done Today … and Yesterday
Primarily laundry; after almost a month without, I finally dragged the wearables to the laundromat on Sunday; the place wasn’t quite deserted, but there were machines readily available, which can be quite the challenge. It only took me 24 hours to figure out that this was because of the Game; it was SuperBowl Sunday, and I was off by myself with my underwear and socks. I left my book just inside the door before I left to go to the laundromat, which I never do; I always have something to occupy myself during the long wait during cycles; not this time. I was left to people-watching without looking at people, or generally understanding what they were talking about. I thought this one woman was Eastern European/Balkan, muttering to herself until I overheard her say full sentences to the younger woman with her which I recognized as Spanish. Beyond that, I had no clue.
Secondarily GRE Prep. I took my first “MST” test – multi-section test – and I did what I’ve done in the past – great on Verbal, terrible on Quantitative (90/20 maybe?)
And in the middle of the last Quantitative section, first the phone rings and then there’s a knock on the door, and I can be here for days on end with the only callers being the bill collectors.
Then, at 7:00pm, I decided it was time to at least go for a spin on the typewriter, instead of more fruitless card games and mindless minesweeper adventures.
But this is all I’ve done…
So it’s 7:45. I’ve had lunch and second lunch (cream cheese and jelly sandwiches – always in pairs – and later a hot pocket.
I have sponges; I can go clean. I have a kitchen that really needs it, too.
2014 0204 14:46 hrs Monday afternoon
And it’s hard to feel productive when all I’ve done today is spend money heedlessly. The dogs are fed, but not walked. The laundry is put away, but I’ve not started on the next round. I can’t even begin to discuss reorganizing the ‘living room’; I sit at the computer desk with my back to it, so I can ignore it by focusing on the screen.
2014 0205 13:15 Tuesday
— barely after breakfast. In fact, time for a 2nd cuppa.
Well, that didn’t last long; I’ve just reinstalled and played a game (or two!) each of Hearts and Spades. In all fairness, I’ve already fed and walked (we know our priorities) the dogs this morning, and last evening, I cleared out the spot directly behind my desk, the steps up to the higher balcon. I walked the dogs instead of listening to Jack Canfield, and then when I got back and turned it on, Wayne called, wanting to talk, so we did. I got off the line just in time to hear his final pitch for coaching.
Then I opened Facebook and the games began … Such a disappointment!
2014 0206 13:50 Thursday
Yesterday was a Wayne day; we watched a movie together over at his house, and ate dinner. No wine, which made the rainy drive along Highway 12 all the stranger; I’ve driven it after drinking wine under many conditions, at every time of year, over the initial 8 years, and many times in the 4 years since, but last night’s drive was somehow .. different, more of a struggle than usual; but it’s still the best ride home in the country.
After promising to write, I’ve pissed away my morning, and haven’t even eaten yet. I wasn’t up all that early today – yesterday it was 11:00, today I think it was 10:00 – but the first emergency of the day was dog food, so I was out of the house for an hour to Targé and back, and broke down and broke security there again. I walked in with $10 and walked out with over $20 spent. Don’t you hate when that happens?
So, it’s 12:57, and I could buckle down and attempt something, and it’s Thursday, not Friday so the week isn’t a total loss yet…
I have boxed and moved a bunch of books, but as usual cannot find the one(s) I’m looking for – I originally went over Wayne’s to watch On The Road
For details, go to IMDB.com:
so I was looking to bring my original paperback copies of On The Road and Dharma Bums and Pic over for him to read, but when the copy Wayne received arrived damaged, we couldn’t watch it. With the approach of the 50th Anniversary of the Day that Changed America, instead we watched “GOOD OL’ FREDA”, Wayne’s Christmas present this past year. Freda Kelly was Brian Epstein’s, and thus the Beatles’ secretary from the beginning until the break up, all-in-all 11 years, I think she said in the documentary. Wayne handed me the box of tissues half-way through it. I was thoroughly charmed.
2014 0213 17:34 Thursday
A Whole Week of a Whole Lot of Nothing
Well, truth be told,, all that laundry – the sheets, the towels, the pillowcases, the fleece and sweatshirts – it’s all washed, all of it, on the 10th. It took 4-1/1 hours, about $30 one afternoon this past week, but it’s done. The diary is completed up to at least June; June 27th this year is the last day of the Fifth Moon during this Year of the Horse (fits!).
I like it, as long as I’ll use it according to plan.
Speaking of the plan, tonight is the monthly meeting for the Santa Rosa IONS group – the Noetics people. I probably wouldn’t have looked if I weren’t checking my journal, but I’d already promised to meet Wayne at Aroma Roasters; the meeting starts at 6:30/7:00, which is the exact time I promised Wayne I’d meet him there.
IONS? Coffee? Hmmm…..
2014 0214 12:11 Happy Valentine’s FriDay
Turned out it was ION; haven’t heard back from Wayne yet today, but if he’s working – and cutting, on a Friday? not likely – then I’ll hear from him later. I never did get him on the phone, I just left a message that a prior engagement reminder came up and I couldn’t meet him.
It was a good meeting, a very good lecture; the experiential element was spectacular – nohead.org, I believe it was.
So, today my choice was to clear out email, or continue to play games, have breakfast or get some of this stuff moving out of here.
First stop, Paperbacks Unlimited; Second stop: Recycling center on Santa Rosa Avenue, to drop off electric stuff that’s just clutter now.
We’ll see where we go from here.
18:08 Which turned out to be the gas station (the fuel light came on as I made my way down there), the Santa Rosa Avenue recycling place and Paperbacks Unlimited; I got mostly 70% off books, with a little more of the 70% credit left. I will bring more books back to add to my “allowance”. But of the books I brought, many were dismissed out of hand as “too old”. Probably the 70s and 80s sci fi; but I did get a significant amount of “sci fi only for sci fi credit” allowance. So, Ipicked up the first 2 books of the Game of Thrones, to ADD TO THE LIST OF THINGS I HAVE TO READ – only not Today, because I just renewed the two library books I have out.
From the Library:
Rewire your Brain, in preparation for a request to meet with its author
Consciousness Explained (or Explained Away, as the case may be)
By the bedstand:
Quicksilver, vol. 1 of the Baroque Trilogy
Before the Deluge, about Weimar Germany
The Autobiography of Mark Twain, vol. 2 (vol. 1 is nearby, with a bookmark in place near the appendices)
T.S. Eliot’s biography, condensed down from an earlier two-volume lifetime appraisal.
So today was not a total loss, just disappointing. I did get rid of some junk, and had some turned away.
Next week I can call for the bin, and get rid of most of what’s collected in the entryway, and other stuff that’s just collected…
2014 02017 09:31 Monday morning
Yesterday was a Wayne day; he wanted to day trip down to San Francisco; he wanted to go toy-hunting. What started out an early day (just like Neahle anc Chenee with the beach that Sunday prior) became an all-day, and in this case, well into the night affair – by the time I got home from Sonoma last night, even the AM/PM station was totally dark – so dark I feared a blackout until I saw the neon in the transmission shop window; then I figured everything was all right, just late.
And here has always lain my essential problem as a writer. THIS is what I write about, that is what I think about – and rarely the twain ever meet.
Is the thinking too advanced, or the writing too primitive? That is my essential quandary I must resolve, the essential task undertake to ever complete a writer’s task.
I have already, at this point in the morning, fed, if not walked, the dogs.
UPDATE: going over this post, preparing to post it, I saw that I referred to the impending move. I have, in fact, told my landlord that Ican no longer afford to stay here and have to find a more-affordable place to live within my budget. I didn’t tell him about the plans to investigate school in Santa Cruz, but I may end up moving down there, sooner rather than later, since one move would be easier than two, even if the distance were longer.